Alison Lapper broke down in tears when discussing her son’s tragic death.
Just last month, 19-year-old Parys suddenly passed away after suffering from anxiety and depression.
And now his heartbroken mum, who was born with phocomelia (leaving her with no arms and shortened legs), has spoken out about her boy’s battle with mental health.
In a tearful interview on This Morning, she told Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield: ‘All I want is my boy back and I can’t, that’s what I really want, so what can I do now?
‘This is a parent’s worse nightmare and it’s hell.’
While her voice cracked, she pressed on: ‘People say, “how do you feel?” And I don’t know how I feel, I feel numb and devastated and I don’t know…
‘He was my boy, he was a man but he was a young man and I don’t have that any more. He still had a lot to give.’
The disabled artist continued to talk about when she started to notice a change in Parys, and said her ‘bouncy, funny, little man’ disappeared when he was just 13.
‘I kept being fobbed off, with people telling me, “He is just playing up,” but it got to the point I would drive him to the school and couldn’t get him out of the van.’
The teenager was then sectioned, with Alison explaining it was an ‘awful’ period of her life.
‘To have your 17-year-old child put into very strange place, I think what really cut me up is that they put him into a box van, it was like he was going to prison and I had to follow.
‘And I was balling my eyes out thinking, “he is sitting there all on his own terrified, and there’s nothing I can do.”‘
Parys was placed in another of units before he was finally allowed back into the community.
Talking about the last time she saw her son, the 54-year-old said: ‘We had a lovely Saturday together in Brighton and he was himself that day, he was feeling better.
She smiled: ‘He was back to the loving, very funny, because he makes me laugh a lot, Parys, but then I’d lose him again.’
This Morning airs weekdays at 10.30am on ITV.
Need support? Contact the Samaritans
For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
MORE: Selma Blair treats herself to day out after gruelling treatment for multiple sclerosis
MORE: Alison Hammond had to stop breastfeeding son after ‘nearly killing him with massive boobs’